Bright Eyes

I bought a Bright Eyes album off of Itunes today and am listening to it as I type this. I bought it because I remember having a text message convo with my friend Jenny quite a while ago where she told me that she listed to a song by Bright Eyes when she was depressed. I miss Jenny a lot today. She's in an inpatient facility now which I know is the best place for her, but it means that I don't get to see or talk to her anymore and that makes me really sad sometimes. I had so many motherly instincts for her, or rather "big sisterly" instincts. I've obviously never been the big sister but that's how I felt with her. She made me feel needed and somehow older and wise. I empathized with her a lot and I miss her now that I don't see her anymore. So I'm listening to what I think is the album she was refering to and trying to get myself motivated for the rest of the day. I'm feeling an overwhelming lack of motivation lately. I won't go into it since I really feel no desire to post an overly emo blog, but it does worry me a little bit. I'm incredibly disappointed that the meeting didn't make me feel as good last night as it has in the past. I liked it of course, but I didn't quite get that feeling of peace that usually settles over me after I leave. In the past when I've been really down the meeting has really been the only thing I've looked forward to. Well I still look forward to it. Too bad I'll be missing it next week for Josef's birthday. I'm excited about that though. I'll get to meet his friends and his cousins and stuff.
Last night I went to Shabbat with Sarah (I hope I spelled that right). It was really interesting. I liked it a lot and it made me feel closer to her. I love the fact that they sing the prayers in hebrew. It sounds so beautiful and the prayers themselves seem so poetic (I was reading the english translations during the service). It's really moving. Afterwards they served dinner which was amazingly good and had a real family feel to it. I liked it a lot and if she doesn't mind I may go back with her another time. I hope the group doesn't mind having a completely non-religious, non-jewish person there. Sarah didn't seem to.