Brace Face

So I got braces on Monday. They are heavy duty metal things that are currently a bit painful but apparently they are going to keep my teeth from eventually breaking (due to their bad alignment) so I'm happy about that. I have to admit though, I feel pretty dorky wearing braces in my 20s. It's not something I'm particularly happy about, but it is what it is I guess. The orthodontists seem pretty excited about me. Apparently my mouth is some sort of special case they had to go to a conference to learn how to fix. They're anxious to try all kinds of new things on me and see how they work. Dr. Brown even called my house the other day just to see how I was doing. So I guess the good news is I get really specialized treatment. Go me.
I've got 45 days behavior free today. Unfortunately 45 days of eating normally isn't really enough to get my system totally adjusted to digesting things normally. That means I still get pretty sick sometimes, like today for example. I'm going home with my Mom to eat lunch because if I end up not being able to digest lunch I kind of don't want to be in the dinning hall when it happens. Talk about embarrassing.
One of my dancers dropped out of the dance I'm choreographing for Fast Forward this year. It's unfortunate because I really like her dancing and wanted her to be in the piece, but I'm kind of excited about going to the auditions on Friday and having people audition for me (instead of the other way around). It will be kind of a fun change.
I had my first piano class ever on Monday. It was a little intimidating but I'm excited about it. Now I just have to find the time to practice. :)

Missing Wickenburg

Last night I dreamt I was in treatment again. I was arguing with the house mom that I needed to be allowed to use the phone so I could tell my parents that I was being released the next day. I got so tired of that kind of crap when I was actually there. Towards the end of my stay I started becoming so indignant. Like, what the fuck do you mean I can't make a damn cup of tea whenever I want to? Ok, so you gave me back my cellphone...if it's off, why the hell can't I carry it with me into the great room? It's lonely being away from there though. Now that I'm back home, especially now that I'm back in the dorms, it's kind of surprising to have to make my own schedule. I miss waking up in the morning and knowing that I had to be ready by a certain time. It was nice to know that there was something I didn't want to miss taking place soon, even if it did mean I had to be in the van by 6:30am. Of course what I really miss isn't early morning meetings or cowboys or how cold it was. (Yes there were real cowboys. There were cowboys everywhere and they all wore cowboy hats and boots and owned horses. They also drove giant trucks. It was weird for me at first. Hell it was still kinda weird by the time I left. We were an hour away from the nearest Target. It was really like a whole nother world.) What I miss the most is the people. It was nice to constantly be surrounded by supportive people who understood what I was going through. It's weird to realize I can't just step out of my room and go bag on Casey and Alana's door. I especially miss Su. I'm glad she is coming out to Santa Monica. I feel kind of the way I did when everyone graduated last year. It was weird to suddenly realize that I could just wander back to the dorms and go complain about how inadequate I felt in Spanish Class. Of course I love my friends at home, and I love being in school. I'm happy to be back and though my classes may be tough this semester they are all things that I really enjoy. It's just a strange, different feeling. I suppose I didn't expect this shift in the way I feel to actually take place.
For a snap shot of what Wickenburg was like: We made our own stockings for Christmas and managed to convince the staff to let us all go on a "walk" to the dollar store, regardless of our level. We then raced down to the dollar store in the rain and completely raided it of all it's small little trinkets to stuff each others stockings with. We ended up needing to make even more stockings because we bought so much shit. We all got lots of lighters and things like silly puddy. I've never been so excited or grateful for small little gifts. Plus I cooked mash potatoes for an entire group of twelve people on Christmas day. Boo yea.